Get Off Your Dryer

Sitting in biology class bored, Jerry grew more and more tired as he waited to go home. He was in his last month of middle school, but he wasn't thinking much about high school. Nothing was particularly special about him. He was pretty average at everything. Most would simply call him a "floater" as he coasted through life. However, by a lottery chance, he was accepted into a prestigious private school 45 minutes away from where he lived. He accepted the offer against his own will. He wanted to roll out of bed every morning and go to his local high school, which was only a couple blocks away. But his parents knew he needed some discipline, so they forced him to go.

As his thumbs mindlessly scrolled on Instagram, he shook. He then couldn't sit still. Central Valley High School's baseball team had just recently been ranked #1 in the county, over three major Catholic schools!

"You good?" a voice came from behind him.

The voice came from one of two very pretty girls in the back. Without thinking, Jerry got up and brought his excitement towards them. Jerry shoved his phone uncomfortably close to their faces.

"That's my school," Jerry said with pride.

"You're going there to play baseball?" one girl asked hesitantly.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

The two girls looked at each other with amazement and they congratulated him. Jerry, standing taller than usual, walked back to his seat. As he sat down, a voice emerged in his head.

Do you seriously think you can play at a school ranked that high? It's even ranked above schools you thought were the best.

There was some truth to that statement. If Jerry wanted to make this happen, his life would have to change. From this point on, Jerry made a commitment to be Central Valley High School's starting varsity catcher as a freshman.

Jerry was no longer just floating through life. He woke up every single day thinking about how he could come closer to this goal. He attacked practices, fighting to become the best he could be.

Nobody had any faith in his goal. His father, Dominick, told him that he thought he should make the freshman team and to "shoot for JV."

His childhood trainer felt the same way. He gently poked Jerry with a bat with each following word:

"You are a freshman."

Jerry didn't say anything.

"How are you even going to do it? It's impossible," the trainer went on.

Although Jerry's mouth didn't make a sound, his eyes did the talking.

"Dominick, this kid is crazy. He really thinks he can do it."

Regardless of their lack of belief, nothing fazed him. He made his commitment and never looked back.

After a couple months, Jerry finally started to be able to hit a baseball with some power behind it. He took pride in that. He genuinely believed that everything was going to be worth it. Not only was he becoming a better player, but also a person. However, the journey was just getting started.

On a random day in December, Jerry was just cleaning himself in the shower. His body had developed a lot of muscle from his commitment, and he treasured it. But his muscle was more than just that to him. It was a symbol of his hard work. As he applied body wash to his groin, his hand did not go over the surface smoothly. It seemed as if there was a bump. Without much care, Jerry went along with his normal shower. To him, this bump was simply unusual and nothing alarming. However, it was so weird that Jerry decided to show his father.

Jerry walked calmly upstairs. He quietly took his father's hand and put it on his bump.

Having served the country for thirty years, Dominick was a self-sufficient man. Dominick saw the world objectively, a trait that Jerry had always admired. It was incredibly difficult to get to his emotions.

"Ella," Dominick yelled upstairs. "Come take a look at this."

Jerry's mother came hastily down the stairs. She placed her hand on the area with a mother's touch. She did this for a while as she was deep in thought. Her facial expressions told Dominick that something was off.

Although everyone knew something was unusual, Jerry perceived no problem. He thought that Dominick and Ella did not seem worried, rather puzzled.

"Ok thank you for showing us. Go downstairs," Dominick said with a monotone voice.

"Well, what do you think about it?" Jerry questioned.

Dominick took a second.

"You're fine man. Just go downstairs now," Dominick struggled to say.

Jerry listened. If his parents were genuinely concerned, he was unable to tell. Perhaps if he were stronger socially, he could have picked up the subtle clues. But young, naive Jerry went back downstairs to complete his homework.

A little later, Jerry's phone started buzzing. Annoyed with his studies, Jerry instantly grabbed his phone. His eyebrows shot up as he saw DAD across his screen. It was about 9:00 p.m. now. Dominick typically started winding down at this time.

"Come upstairs. We're going to the walk-in clinic," Dominick quickly said.

"What? Dad, do you see the time?" Jerry exclaimed as he sprinted up the stairs.

"We would feel more comfortable," Dominick said while looking at Ella.

Jerry had zero desire to leave the house, but he didn't want to argue. He knew now was not the time to be disobedient. Listening just to listen, Jerry casually put on his shoes.

Dominick and Jerry left without any further words needed.

All of the local walk-in clinics were closed by this time. They had to drive further to find one that was open. There was nothing stopping Dominick, though. He wanted Jerry to have medical attention as soon as possible.

When they finally arrived, Jerry actually enjoyed the scene. The doctor's office was made to look like a castle. There were many little kids bouncing off of these walls; they loved it! The combination of the laughter and taking a seat surrounded by fake stone walls put Jerry at ease. He even started texting with a classmate about his upcoming test.

Dominick was a whole different story. The lack of seriousness in the environment made his breathing audible. His face blanked like a sheet of paper. His hands twisted into a pretzel. He could only wait to hear Jerry get called in.

After what must have felt like an eternity for Dominick, a voice called for Jerry.

A lady led them into the room. Unknowingly, she was the first medical professional on a very long road ahead.

The room had a childlike theme to it. Inside awaited a cheerful, middle-aged woman. The contrast between her energy and Dominick's was clear as day. As Jerry explained the situation, her positivity grew even further.

"This happens all the time. Don't worry about it," the lady explained with a smile from ear-to-ear. She went on.

"The body has lymph nodes. They naturally expand when fighting off a virus. A virus that you wouldn't even know about! It is really crazy, but I can assure you it's okay."

Dominick was still unsettled. Through a broken voice, he spoke.

"That is great to hear. I'm just shaken by what I saw when I googled."

"Google! Google! Google! Sir, don't ever Google medical information. They will always claim the worst. They would even say this is cancer! There is a 99% chance this isn't that," the doctor exclaimed.

Something changed inside of Jerry. He couldn't believe they were even discussing the word "cancer."

The doctor started again.

"I am not worried at all about your son. Everything is normal here. This situation is a regular occurrence. But, just for our policy we have to send you to a specialist. I know it's very annoying, but I have to follow my rules. You'll be fine though."

Her optimism was hard not to catch. Her positive attitude would have been cherished in any other situation. Here, however, Dominick was still visibly alarmed. As more time passed, Dominick started to feel its effects slightly.

Jerry, on the other hand, stayed relatively even. He gained an understanding of the situation. It clarified his father's peculiar and uncharacteristic actions. Although he learned more about the situation's gravity, it had not yet hit him. His mind was still fogged by studying for his test the next day.

The doctor scheduled an appointment with the specialist for them. Dominick and Jerry thanked the woman for her time, help, and reassurance as they made an exit.

Behind on sleep and carrying baggage (that Jerry had yet to comprehend), Dominick drove through the night. There was no shortage of uneasiness in the air.

The next day was normal. Jerry, in fact, was loving his life. Although he knew only 3 people going into the whole school of over a thousand, he transitioned into freshman year perfectly. Jerry developed an outgoing, respectful personality that people naturally gravitated towards. His manners made him very popular. He was even starting to develop a relationship with a beautiful girl!

"Ring!" The alarm sounded.

Many people love to hear the dismissal bell go off, including Jerry. But not today. Fun time was over. That sound reminded him about his appointment with the specialist. Even though he wasn't concerned about the medical situation, he didn't like the energy it caused. Jerry's newfound understanding of his parents' behaviors led to a serious atmosphere. He appreciated their care, but didn't want them to stress over him.

Jerry reluctantly put himself on the bus. His parents would be waiting at the stop to head directly to the local hospital.

As Jerry opened the car door, a sense of uneasiness hit him like a charging bull. Before taking a seat, Dominick started.

"Jerry, I got some good news for you. We were fortunate enough to get Doctor Adams today. He's also a surgeon. He's been doing this job for over thirty years. In fact, he's retiring soon and not taking many more patients. I know this is scary, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm totally fine," Jerry said honestly.

The rest of the car ride was filled with dialogue between Dominick and Ella. They tried to reassure themselves about the situation. After an extensive discussion, neither one seemed any better.

This talk was just noise to Jerry. His mind was thinking about his life. He took pride in his recent grades, baseball performances, strength, and the new relationships he made at his school. He felt a sense of appreciation that his parents sent him there.

The family pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. Jerry's jaw dropped at the massive size of this place. The parking lot stretched further than he expected. The fact that there were several people making up the valet service stunned Jerry.

Countless employees were standing in the all-white lobby. A solemn sensation filled the air. Jerry realized there was no drawbridge outline surrounding the desk. No screams from children playing tag. No nothing.

Eventually, they made it into their room. Jerry lay down on the bed. As he looked to the ceiling, an overwhelming amount of medical technology hit him. Looking away to his side, he witnessed a massive toxic waste symbol. The room appeared to be closing in on him. The longer he waited, the smaller he became. His parents took notice. Dominick asked Ella for his hoodie and put it behind his head. This simple act pushed the walls further away from him.

"Hanging in there Jerry?" came from a profound voice in the doorway.

"I'm Doctor Adams. It is a pleasure to meet you two," he said while greeting Jerry's parents.

"I read about your report. But, still. Please talk to me about everything."

Dominick gave him an elaborate breakdown. Every minor detail under the sun, Dominick had it covered.

After a long talk, Doctor Adams examined the area. Within a minute or so, he asked to perform an ultrasound.

"Is that a needle?" Jerry questioned. "I hate needles."

"No," Doctor Adams said laughingly.

Jerry then witnessed the first sign of humanity.

"You know Jerry, I still don't like needles. I know I operate on people for a living, but it doesn't bother me. However, when I receive them, different story. I get the same feelings as you."

"See Jerry," Dominick interjected. "He's a surgeon and doesn't like them."

This light-hearted conversation occurred as Doctor Adams pulled an ultrasound out of the thin air. A feeling of trust arose in Jerry. As soon as this sensation came, the room fell silent as Doctor Adams applied the machine to the lump in Jerry's groin.

A couple minutes later, the judge had come to a verdict.

"We're going to need to perform a biopsy on it. We cannot confirm whether it is cancerous or not. In order to be safe, we want to physically test it. However, I am 90% confident it is not cancerous. Everything will be okay," Doctor Adams said in a monotone voice.

Jerry's mouth made a wide circle. Oddly enough, the concept of surgery didn't move him at all. He understood that doctors put patients under anesthesia and he wouldn't feel any needles. What threw him off was the fact that Doctor Adams mentioned a number. Something seemed suspicious to Jerry about these numbers. Knowing he wouldn't be able to figure it out, he let it go.

Doctor Adams then scheduled an appointment to perform the surgery. The family thanked him for his time and care as they made an exit.

Unsurprisingly, the car ride home was similar to the one there. Jerry was still relatively unfazed. His parents' dialogue was continuous; all one big noise maker to him. However, the air became even heavier.

About a week later was the same car ride back to the same place. Feelings of hunger dominated his senses as he couldn't eat all day. However, he even prepared for the fasting. The day prior he stayed up eating heavily until 11:50. After consuming an unhealthy amount of food at one time, Jerry worked out incredibly hard. He wanted to compensate for the time that would have to be wasted. Time that can't be put into baseball.

Jerry comfortably lay in the bed. The objects that made his hair stick up just a week prior no longer bothered him. The thought about anesthesia eased his mind. However, this imagination quickly came to an end as Doctor Adams entered the room with a nurse.

Doctor Adams was wearing a Superman logo on his scrubs, not very fitting in relation to the surroundings. He explained that since Jerry was a big guy, the anesthesia needed to go through an IV. The nurse had a portable table, tubes on it, and a smile on her face.

"You'll be okay," she said with a hint of cheer.

The nurse handed Dominick an icepack as they approached the bed.

Dominick came alongside Jerry. He held the icepack on the back of his neck with one hand, and stuck out two fingers with his other. He told Jerry to squeeze these fingers with his right arm. The intention was to help him relax his left arm so they could get the IV in. However, Jerry squeezed those fingers with his whole body.

He tensed.

"Do you want to get stuck more than once?" said the nurse.

To Jerry, that comment was so stupid that it didn't warrant a response—only a thought in his head:

Does she really think I want another one?

At the time, Jerry couldn't comprehend her rhetorical question. His mind was flooded with negative emotions.

"Then you have to relax," exclaimed the nurse.

Those comments did nothing as he flexed intensely. She understood the situation and tried another approach.

"Do you play any sports?"

"I play baseball," Jerry mumbled.

"What position are you?"

As Jerry went to answer, the needle punctured his skin. Her plan worked to perfection. Instead of telling him to relax, she took it upon herself to naturally relax him.

The IV was successfully in. Before he got into the operating room, they wanted to draw some blood. Since the IV was already in, Jerry didn't even think twice. However, as the blood was sucked out of his body, he turned green.

The nurse got the blood. Jerry got a nickname.

"He's the hulk," Doctor Adams said to Jerry's parents.

Unknowingly to him, that name stuck and even became useful. Dominick would tell the "Hulk" story to warn future nurses when they attempt to stick Jerry with a needle.

Jerry's parents both reached over the bed's plastic arms and gave him a kiss. Jerry felt sensations of sorrow as the nurse wheeled him away from them. At this point, he couldn't wait to go unconscious.

Wheeled into the operating room, they laid him down on this massive platform. Doctor Adams introduced Jerry to the people above him, but eventually it was too overwhelming. There were several people each performing a job on something. Strapping him down, adjusting his blood pressure cuff, aligning his body, everyone seemed to be doing something.

There then came a point where everything shifted. Only one distinct event occurred. A woman placed her head over his face and asked him a very familiar question.

"What sports do you play?"

"I play baseball," Jerry said as he moved his eye to the upper left corner.

There were two women. One was working on something, while the other was monitoring his vital signs.

"What position do you play?" asked the woman with her face uncomfortably close to Jerry.

Before Jerry had the chance to answer, his consciousness slipped away. The next thing he knew, he was in the post-operating room looking at his father.

"Where am I?" Jerry asked.

Dominick rushed over.

"Jerry. Are you okay? We are here for you. Do you need anything?" Dominick asked immediately.

"Yeah, I am okay. I just really want to leave. I'm sweating really bad," Jerry said.

He was right. Sweat ran down his entire body.

Dominick immediately went to the nurse stationed outside. She claimed there was not much she could do.

A minute later she came into the room with a glass of cold water and apologized she couldn't do more. Jerry thanked her for the water and she left.

"The surgery was a success. Doctor Adams said if this is cancerous, he might have got it all out. Meaning that, treatment may be unnecessary. But he said he thinks there is a 50% chance it is not cancer."

"Dad. It's over. I got it," Jerry said.

"Stop that Jerry. Don't say that. That is not what the doctor said," Dominick snapped.

Jerry looked at his father very intensely and somewhat annoyed.

"Dad. Think logically. Are you kidding me? We went from 99% to 90% to 50%. Do you not see the trend? I got it," said Jerry with a weird uncertainty in his voice.

Dominick hesitated.

"Well, I would like to hear from the doctor," Dominick said softly.

For the past couple of days, Jerry could still only hobble. His walk was so awkward that teachers let him leave class early. However his mind was fine. He was just annoyed that he couldn't use his time better. Then, he created a way. By putting his left leg behind his right, he believed there was no strain on his groin while doing push-ups. Once Jerry found this out, he abused it. He remembered sweat falling from his face at 1 in the morning.

Jerry had found his outlet—and a problem one night.

"Mom. Dad," Jerry yelled in the morning. "Come take a look at this."

They never like hearing those words come out of his mouth. But they ran to Jerry immediately. He showed them his groin.

The incision site was inflated like a water balloon. It was obvious liquid had accumulated under the skin. Interestingly, there was a hint of yellow to this water balloon.

Dominick called Doctor Adams immediately. He managed to get an appointment the same day, only in a couple of hours. Jerry couldn't wait to go see him.

After another desolate car ride, they made it back in the same spot—the very room where Jerry became "The Hulk." He really started to miss the fake stone towers and pictures of alligators. But he took some deep breaths and pretended he wasn't there. Luckily, the wait wasn't very long.

"Hello again everybody," Doctor Adams said with a slight smile. "Your surgery went very well initially. I believe I removed the entirety of the tumor. But what do we have here?"

"His incision is protruding and the whole area around it is liquid. It's even yellow. Do you really think this was a successful surgery?" Dominick responded with worry.

"I definitely do. This inflation is just a normal complication. Nobody can control it, but it's an easy fix. I just have to drain it. You'll be out of here very soon," Doctor Adams casually said.

"Drain it?" Jerry gulped. "What do you mean?"

"Oh no, Jerry it's nothing. I have to suck the fluid out or it can get infected. You won't feel a thing because I cut your nerves. You won't even know it's happening," Doctor Adams said confidently.

Although his statement sounded logical, it was useless. Jerry jumped at the sight of a big syringe.

"Jerry, come on. Relax. The longer you do this, the longer we stay here. Don't waste this man's time," Dominick lectured.

Jerry sighed.

"Give me your hand," Jerry asked as he understood his father was right.

Squeezing his father's hand, he shut his eyes. Jerry's mind went blank, but was working at a mile a minute.

A couple seconds later he heard a voice.

"All done. I told you that you wouldn't even know," said Doctor Adams jokingly.

"No way it's done," Jerry exclaimed with a smile.

"I told you it'd be easy. Come on, you have to admit that wasn't so bad," Doctor Adams said with a chuckle.

Jerry was really fond of his lighthearted tone. Conversations like these are what made Jerry trust him.

"Oh it was terrible. So incredibly painful Doc," said Jerry as happy as ever.

"Can't even give me that kid. Tough cookie you guys have here," Doctor Adams said as he looked at Jerry's parents.

"Whatever Jerry," He went on.

"This fluid is usually fine, but we have to check it because of policy."

Dominick's guard shot up. It was noticeable.

"What!" Dominick blurted out in an instant. Panic was in his voice. "We have heard that policy thing before. We don't like it."

Before Dominick could get another word in, Doctor Adams cut him off.

"Relax," he said with a genuine tone and face.

Doctor Adams became a regular person, connecting with everyone on a deeper level.

"Everything is fine," he repeated towards Dominick and Ella numerous times.

He turned to Jerry with a smile.

"You have one thing to do. Go enjoy Christmas. You deserve it."

A couple days had passed and Jerry finally regained his body's strength. He attacked the opportunity to exercise and play baseball. These outlets had totally taken his mind off his groin. He felt like just a normal kid again.

Out of nowhere, Jerry's parents called him upstairs unexpectedly. With tears blanketing their eyes, his parents were unusually close to each other on the couch. Their serious tone instantly changed his carefree mood. Taking a seat, he grew increasingly uncomfortable as his father tried to mutter out words no 14-year-old expects to hear: He had been diagnosed with a rare type of lymphoma. His jaw hit the floor as his ordinary life had just turned upside down.

After a brief discussion, Jerry quickly ran back to the basement. Instead of his usual activity, he ran into the laundry room. Sitting on the floor, back against the dryer, Jerry folded into his knees with a river coming down his cheeks.

The gravity had finally hit him.

With tears covering his face, Jerry mustered up the courage to stand up. He went into the bathroom. A split-second decision with lasting impact on his life arose. As he stared at himself inches from the mirror, he knew his life wouldn't be sustainable in self-grief.

Is this how we're going to go out? Jerry asked as he stared down the man looking back at him.

The voice went on.

You have worked too hard on yourself. You must become the starting varsity catcher. This can't be the way everything ends.

Jerry thought about these words. The voice was true.

Suddenly, a tiny spark of hope arose within. Wiping some tears from his eyes, he completely engulfed himself in this sensation. Unbeknownst to him, this seemingly small ember morphed into something massive: the necessary key he needed to maintain his "word," or promise to himself. Playing varsity baseball became more than just a goal, rather a challenge to his character.

This vivid flame threw him onto the floor, forcing him to do countless monotonous push-ups. Repetition after repetition, he strangely enjoyed watching pools of sweat accumulate on the floor. His arms quivered as his nose repeatedly touched the puddles beneath him. With his upper body barely capable of simple movement, he stood up. Although he had lost all feeling in his arms, he regained it in his mind. He confidently walked back to the bathroom mirror, but something was different. "He" was no longer. The same kid drowning in self-grief just minutes prior had vanished into the abyss.

Grief and cancer had suddenly lost its grip. The negativity mindlessly thrown at him from his family and closest trainer disappeared. Only faith survived. Faith appeared to revive that big-hearted child and his imagination. With nobody in his corner, he had himself. Looking at his reflection, he profoundly smirked, yearning for the challenge.

March. Walking into school the day of the tryouts, Jerry felt something special. He threw his massive equipment bag over his shoulder, like a Navy SEAL ready for combat. Although baseball is just a sport, he wasn't there to "play." He was there to conquer any obstacle in front of him. He had a greater mission: keep his "word" to himself, as he was all that he had at this time. He was the freshman that showed up every day 45 minutes before school to sharpen his dull skills. Hands layered in blisters, body shaking to fight off hypothermia, or sleep deprived, nothing mattered—he still showed up to that desolate batting cage. Even though these moments quickly became dark and lonely, they were necessary. They were stepping stones to his pursuit of fulfillment.

As he stepped onto the field, he unwaveringly stared at two other seniors that were also competing for the honor of being the starting varsity catcher. He eyed them down, way past the point of awkwardness.

There was no doubt or worry in his body. All of the work behind-the-scenes started to reveal itself. And eventually, he did it. Jerry earned the position of Starting Varsity Catcher. Batting third and catching every game, Jerry was a main contributor to the team as a freshman. More importantly, he had turned into the person his younger self crying in the mirror dreamed about.

Very few people truly understood what this accomplishment meant to him. He always kept his problems and desires to himself. However, he whole-heartedly appreciated the process, especially the devastation. Through reflection, every experience that cancer threw at him became a lesson. Therefore, without the cancer, Jerry wouldn't be the person he is today.